weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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