fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
