So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
