This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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