Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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