my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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