when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
