Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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(847): View more from Illinois

He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

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(614): View more from Ohio

she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.

(614): View more from Ohio

I was always good at matching as a child.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.

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(913): View more from Kansas

So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.

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