Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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