News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm too high and old for this...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
