I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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