u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
