There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
