Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
tell me about the fingering
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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