i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
