just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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