I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
