hell yes lets make some ravioli
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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