If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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