This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize