And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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