haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
