The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
