She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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