Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
