so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
