no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
