you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
