so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
