I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
