Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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