There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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