I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
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This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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