"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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