I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
