he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize