so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
