I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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