guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
