I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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