after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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