Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
