Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
