So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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