I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
