I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
