At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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