So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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