well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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