She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He? As in you personified your dick?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
