I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
