Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize
