I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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