All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
