I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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