You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
