she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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