i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
