She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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