What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
