Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
