I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
