You really coming over, don't trick.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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