My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
